


Intervention

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 20:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10974873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Haggar and the Druids are concerned about Zarkon's latest behavior





	Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> *makes 'i don't know' noise*

Zarkon was furious. Voltron had slipped through his fingers yet again. His son, Lotor, was sending him whiny messages asking for more GAC for a new ship, as he’d totaled his latest one AGAIN. And now, of course, as he was trying to get some WORK done, Haggar and her druids were nowhere to be found!

“HAGGAR!” He shouted down the halls “WHERE ARE Y—“ 

He turned the corner into a room, where Haggar and the druids sat in a circle. Unlike a summoning circle, though, they were just sitting in metal folding chairs beneath a sign that read ‘Intervention.’

At the sight of him, Haggar stood up and said, “Welcome, sire,” in her creepy voice. “Please sit down.” 

“What is this?” He demanded of them, “What are you all doing here?”

Haggar stepped forward, taking him by the elbow and leading him to sit down. “We’re all here because we’re concerned for you. You know we’re all eternally loyal to your everlasting reign of evil, but…to be honest your behavior as of late is beginning to worry us.”

Zarkon sat down. “What do you mean?”

“Your search for the Black Lion has become an obsession,” One druid piped up. Zarkon turned his glare on him, “…Sire…” He followed up. 

“We’ve all prepared statements,” Haggar said, covering up for the druid’s faux pas. “Gorzak, why don’t you go first?”

A druid stood up and took out a card, “Zarkon, almighty emperor of the Galra, when you become so obsessive over tracking down the Black Lion, you hurt the people around you. I mean you literally smash us into walls and work us to the point of exhaustion. I feel pain, all over my body. I just want the pain to stop so that I can go to sleep.”

Haggar and several of the druids nodded. “Thank you Gorzak,” Haggar said, “Kazl?” 

Another druid stood up with his own card. “Zarkon. I am worried about you. I know you want to regain the Black Lion because it was once yours, but are you sure that’s what you need? The Black Lion turned her back on you, and quite honestly, I don’t think she deserves you. You’re already an emperor over 90% of the universe, with more and more every day. You are a strong, powerful Galra and you don’t need no lion.”

Several druids nodded, one or two even snapping their fingers like it was a poetry reading or something. 

Haggar herself stood up next. “Sire, you are an excellent warrior, one of the greatest in the world, and you are very evil, you have proved that time and again. But there is more to being a great emperor than being evil. There is infrastructure in an empire as vast as our own that must be maintained if we wish to keep hold of the territories we have worked so hard to conquer. I know it’s not as fun as chasing down Voltron and demanding your lion returned to you, but as the cruel dictator of us all, you have certain duties you must perform. This search is only hindering you, and sooner or later something important is going to slip through the cracks.”

Several of the druids around nodded. Zarkon looked between them. “You all feel this way?” The druids nodded again. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“We think you need some rehab,” Haggar said, “Just for a few quintents, just to get you to come to accept a universe where you won’t have your lion. And who knows? Maybe once you learn to focus on other tasks, we’ll be able to properly hold off the Voltron threat, and your lion will return to you.” They all nodded again.

Zarkon grumbled. “I’m…I’m not promising anything,” He said, “But…I shall take your advice under…advisement.”

Haggar nodded, “That’s all we can ask, Sire.”

Zarkon stood up, stretching his arms a bit. Gorzak read the signal completely wrong and went in for a hug. Before he could make contact, Zarkon grabbed him by his mask and threw him into the wall. “Don’t touch the emperor.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think, my tumblr is dork-empress


End file.
